It's a secret

I just went on to Post Secret…and cried. I always cry when I read the post cards. The honesty is overwhelming. It’s not the rape/abortion/death secrets that make me cry either. It is the ones that are things that people just never told anyone. I have so many secrets that I wish I could tell. No one knows the true story of “me” and that makes me sad. I feel that when I am in relationships that I can “tell that person anything” until I mess up and do something that I could or would never let them know about. That has to do with my fantasy of “perfection” and how attainable it is. I think that if I could just not do anything while I know someone that I would be embarrassed about, then everything will be alright. I can maintain that “perfect” image and that person will love me-until I fuck it up. It makes me cry because “I’ve fucked it up” with my friends, family, professors, employers. That is one of the saddest things ever. Ever.